Update

I've been meaning to post an update...I didn't mean to sort of disappear.  I really hadn't had much news to share in terms of how he was doing, because frankly, he has been doing pretty well.  His eyes get a little gummy, but not really an issue.  He does sort of squint his right eye at times.  His hair appears to be growing back.  I guess the reason I decided to post tonight is because I believe I heard the dreaded "huffing" noise when he was outside this evening.  It was like 4 quick "huffs".  Very, very similar to the what he did at the beginning of all this.  I am very worried as to what this might mean.  This is the first time he has done this since about a week and a half after he started the Piroxicam and then his radiation treatment.  I'm pretty sure it's what I heard.  The doctor said that over the next couple of months the tumor should continue to shrink...I'm not sure that is the case for us.  Of course, I am thinking worst case - that it is growing again.  Perhaps the cold weather is making his nasal passages more sensitive...I don't know.  I can only hope, I guess, and just keep a close eye out if he starts doing this on a regular basis.  He is due for a 1 month check up - he needs a chest xray and some bloodwork.  Looks like I will have to call and get that scheduled sooner than later.  He's still eating well and very active.  Doesn't look like he's lost any weight.  What is scary is that even if he has to live with these symptoms and we just have to accept that they are only going to get worse as time goes on, I am just so scared and worried as to how long he CAN live with them.  I mean, I really feel like another 2 yrs is a long shot.  Have something like Adenocarcinoma definitely sounds like something you can't live long with.  I have been crying a bit more lately thinking about losing him.  I realize that this will happen, but this is so, so difficult and I don't know how I am going to get through it.

The vet said the CT scan would be in another couple of months.  I'm thinking maybe I will schedule it for December sometime, as I truly think the radiation has done the damage it was going to do, because he is healing, and if he is healing, I have to think the damn tumor is not being affected anymore.  If it shrunk enough, maybe there is a possibility they could remove most of it to give us more time, but I'm guessing that this is all just wishful thinking, not to mention another very large vet bill.  I know I can't blame myself, but I wish I could turn back time and would have brought him in when the huffing symptoms started late last winter when the tumor would have been most likely small enough to remove and then treat it with radiation.  Of course, I can't say that they would have suggested a CT scan back then and I probably still wouldn't have known for some time.  No use in beating myself up, but I still wish I would have been able to do things differently.

This is just really, really depressing at the moment to realize that perhaps the radiation treatment didn't do much of anything for him, and unfortunately, I won't know if that is true unless we spend the money on the  CT.  This just sucks.