My Dog's Battle Against Cancer

Just an update...

2010-08-31T20:33:00.000-05:00

I was thinking lately that it's been a while since I have really thought about Oakley. I have been SOOO busy with work - working 10 hr days, sometimes 11 hrs; my mind has been focused on other things. Looking through his pictures make me smile, but also makes me very sad. I don't think the hurt will ever really go away.

Our new puppy was born on August 13th. John and I are very excited to welcome him into our family and love him just as fiercely as we did Oakley, and how we do with Maya. I know he will be so much different, but we are looking forward to the happiness and energy a young dog will bring to our lives, and of course the love, and to see what kind of dog he grows up to be.

Thinking of you, Oaks!!

Some big news!

2010-07-18T12:13:00.000-05:00

John and I put a deposit down for a male German Shepard yesterday. We went and visited a kennel/training facility just outside of St. Peter. We were very impressed by Mark and his GSDs and his overall philosphy towards training, teaching and raising the breed. He was very knowledgable and kind. His dogs were all so beautiful with wonderful temperaments - very unique. We stand a very good chance at getting a puppy as we were the 2nd couple to put down a deposit for a male on the 2nd of two litters coming up in August. So, if all goes well, we'll have a new member of the family by the first week of October or so!

I still think about Oakley every day and miss him terribly. Just last night, we ordered chinese food and when the door bell rang, I instintively waited for Oakley to start barking like crazy and barrel down the stairs to the front door. Then it dawned on me the reality of it and I realized that was not going to happen. No one has ringed the doorbell since he has been gone, so it was a shock when it didn't happen. I had just about been ready to shout his name - it was a bit depressing to say the least.

Love ya, Oakley!

Recent "goings on"...

2010-07-11T11:40:00.000-05:00

Looking at those pictures in my last blog just now brought a huge wave of sadness and tears. God, I miss Oakley. What the hell is wrong with me?! I still feel like there this this giant hole in my heart. My home at times still feels so lonely and sad. Maya actually seems especially depressed. I'm not sure she can do well as a single dog. We were on the verge of taking in a dog from an acquaintence of mine who could no longer keep her dog. He isn't the type of dog I would ever consider adopting and it's been a struggle making a decision like this. She had originally brought him to the St. Paul AHS who deemed him not adoptable and were going to euthanize him the other day until she went back and brought him home. They claimed he was mean and aggressive, which apparently was news to my friend. I met him yesterday and it was so far from the truth. He actually came back rail thin with sores on his mouth and elbows. I have no idea what that poor dog went through while being at the AHS. It kind of frightens me. He is an absolute sweetie, a bit high energy, but he's not even 2 yet. It turns for now that someone else is going to take him. If it doesn't work out, then we'll probably take him, although, I'm not sure he's a good match only because Maya is not as limber and active as she used to be. But, it could bring her out of her funk. I don't know what will happen, but there is a possibility he will end up in our household. John isn't quite ready, and I'm not sure that I really am either, but if I need to foster him for a bit, that would be fine. We'll see what happens this week.

Anyway, I still miss ya buddy. I don't think it will ever go away. John and I cooked up a crab/shrimp boil yesterday an I wanted to bad to be able to give Oakley a little corn on the cob and some beef sausage. He would have loved that so much!

Some recent pics of Oakley before he passed

2010-07-05T11:49:00.000-05:00

Here's Oakley sneaking a peek at the neighbor dog who loved to torment him through the fence.

Aw, what a sweet boy!

Just spending some time on the deck.

This picture was actually taken 2 days before his death. One look at him and you would never think that he was sick...although in this picture he was having difficulty breathing and not eating. This was pretty much right before I brought him to the UofM and he ended up being admitted to ICU. I never imagined that his life would be over in the next 48 hrs, and that pneumonia was ultimately going to be what ended his life.

Oakley - you are beautiful and so handsome and you were taken from me much too soon! I miss you so much! I don't think I will ever stop wishing that I could turn back the clock and react sooner to what was happening. I know I can't feel guilty, but it is so hard not to feel that. I keep trying to remind myself that they found the cancer in your lymphnodes and most likely in your lungs, too, and that maybe it was better that you went this way. Please know that what we did was out of love for you and so that you wouldn't suffer any more. I tried everything that I could for you.

Okay, I've had a minor set back...looking at these pictures perhaps wasn't a good idea, afterall.

Life just continues on its way...

2010-07-05T11:30:00.000-05:00

It's amazing how life just doesn't stop, not even for the most tragic of things, even though so badly you want it to stop and rewind, or just make it seem like other people are not oblivious to your pain. The pain of losing Oakley has subsided for the most part, although seeing certain pictures or thinking of certain memories are still capable of making me cry. Last Friday, I picked up Oakley's ashes. It was bittersweet to say the least in the sense that I hated that he was now just a box of dust, however, it felt like he was home again as I held what was left of him in my arms, close to my heart. I cried for him, sitting in my car, wishing so much I could actually be hugging him close and giving him as many kisses as I could, burying my face in his neck. John and I will be searching for a little box or urn of some sort. I don't care what some people say, I would like to hang on to his ashes for awhile.

Last night was the 4th. We usually take both dogs for a walk as we have a great place to watch the city's fireworks display in the neighborhood park. It felt so strange for the 2 of us to just be walking Maya - no Oakley walking in front of John, and Maya in front of me, as was the normal way of things. Walks are still very subdued; the excitement of them isn't the same without Oakley, who was always wanting to check out everything no matter how many times he's walked that same route. Our little family has changed, that is for sure, and it's still taking some time to get used to it.

You will always be in my heart, Oakley. My special dog and companion, forever and ever.

Sara

1 week today...:(

2010-06-28T22:10:00.000-05:00

Oakley,

It has been one full week since we lost you. My heart still aches, but the pain is subsiding. I don't want to ever forget you. I will admit that it's a relief not to have the stress of constant worry nagging at me at every corner - are you going to eat your dinner, are you in pain, when is the cancer going to take you, will the alternative therapies work, etc. Of course, if I could have you back I certainly wouldn't be complaining. I would much rather have you here to take care of, to get lots of hugs and kisses from you, and to just keep me company and be by my side.

It's been so quiet around here; I worry a bit about Maya, but she seems to be doing better each day and coming out of that shell of hers. I am not sure when we will decide on getting another dog. A part of me now just wants it to be the 3 of us as I think Maya would be fine on her own. But, I do miss having a dog that loves attention, and loves to be the center of it! LOL! It was always about Oakley! :)

I'm going to be working on a scrapbook soon. I'd like to make an actual book of pictures of you, and all of us, throughout the 9 yrs we shared with you. I received my books today about how animals do have eternal life. I am looking forward to reading them and I hope they make me feel somewhat better. I really want to believe with all my heart that I will see you again someday.

I still miss you and I will always love you, "Okie".

Sara

I miss you...more than ever

2010-06-24T20:39:00.000-05:00

My Oakley-Doakley,

The last 3 days have been the most difficult of my life. It is so hard not to have you here by my side, as you always were. Maya is not herself and John is beyond crushed. We are all so heartbroken that you are gone. We love you so much. We received a sympathy card from Dr. Johnston, the doctor who took care of you at the U. We were blessed to have such a kind and caring person taking care of you. I spoke to her yesterday and she helped me understand that we truly did everything that we could for you. I didn't want you to suffer any more than you were; it wasn't possible to reverse what was inevitably happening. Please know that I tried everything I could, my sweet boy.

It comes in waves; deep sadness and lots of tears. I feel like I am fine, but then all of a sudden I think of you and the tears start streaming down my face. I have woken up sobbing - missing you so much that I can barely breathe. I think how is it possible that you were taken from me so young. I can't help but think that you were still just my little pup and had so much life to live. It just seemed impossible that one day I was going to actually lose you. Home just doesn't feel like home without you here. It feels unfamiliar and strange. I know it will get better and the sadness will subside, but I would give anything to be able to hold you one more time and give you a great big hug and kiss and tell you that I love you. But, I know that wherever you are that you are happy; I have to believe that. I'm sure that you are making many new friends and waiting patiently to see us again.

You are forever in my heart, my Oakers. We all miss you so much!!

April 12, 2001 - June 21, 2010 - Rest in Peace my Angel

2010-06-22T08:43:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the hardest day of my life. I lost my best friend and companion. I still cannot believe that he is gone. He had been sick for the past week and a 1/2. Not eating, a bit of labored breathing. I think my mistake was not taking him to the U right away; instead I went to our regular vet again. I hate to blame myself, but you have to wonder if you'd have done something different, would it have made a difference. But, I just didn't think that in less than a week's time after this visit that Oakley would be gone. She did xrays, bloodwork, etc, and put him on some antibiotics as his WBC was up to 29. We were not sure if it was the cancer or something else; we thought it was something else because it sort of just came out of nowhere. Oakley had been doing so well so it was a surprise that he got sick like this.

My regular vet wanted to take a wait and see approach and see if he improved with the antibiotics. Unfortunately, he wouldn't eat enough to take the pills down. By this past Saturday he seemed miserable; He was "abdominal" breathing and his nasal cavity was quite congested. I decided he need to go to the U immediately. He was admitted to ICU for the next 2 days and ended up going into an oxygen cage after the first night because he couldn't pull in enough oxygen. They also repeated xrays and bloodwork, and gave him fluids and antibiotics continuously via IV and biopsied his lymphnodes, which were very enlarged. Of course, we had to wait for Monday for any real answers to the tests they took as the radiologist and cytologist were not available on the weekends. But, our internal medicine doctor, Dr. Andrea Johnston, who was just so wonderful, said that it it looked like he had aspiration pneumonia based on the lung pattern. He was completely dependent of the oxygen and couldn't be removed from it. They had to put in a catheter because they couldn't even take him out to go potty anymore; he couldn't walk 2 feet without his tongue turning blue/gray. They continued to provide supportive care and kept him in his oxygen tank, but there was just no improvements.

Monday morning we got the results that the cancer was in both lymphnodes and it appeared possible that it had metastasized to the lungs as well, but they were not 100% sure on that. What ultimately was killing him was the pneumonia, I think. The next set of diagnostic testing was to test the sputum in his lungs. However, the doctor did not think Oakley could handle the procedure given that he was continuing to decline and showing no increased lung function. At this point, I asked her if there was any chance he would make it or if we need to consider to stop. She said that stopping was probably the humane thing to do. His body is just not able fight it; he is already immune-compromised because of the cancer and that is most likely why he couldn't fight off the pneumonia. So, my husband and I went to the U to spend some time with him, to hold him and give him lots of hugs and kisses. He recognized us and he gave me a kiss, but otherwise, he was just not himself. I know though he would have wanted to go home if we told him that was where we were taking him.

At 11:15, Oakley died peacefully in my arms. I said to him as he passed what a beautiful and wonderful dog he was and thanked him for the past 9 yrs, and I told him how much I loved him and how much I would miss him. To be with him in the end is the only thing giving me any kind of peace about this. I know that he didn't die alone and I hope he had some kind of comfort knowing I was there. I know we tried everything that we could. Sometimes it is just not enough, but at least we tried. Once he passed, they rolled him into another room where myself, my husband and our other dog, Maya, could say our goodbyes. Maya sniffed him and I think she understood it was him and that he was gone, but who's to say. Otherwise, my husband and I spent our time crying, giving him his final hugs and kisses. We were able to take some locks of his hair, and they provided us with a little clay mold of his paw print with his name stamped into it. He will be cremated and we will get his ashes in a couple of weeks.

There are so many memories of Oakley. We have had him since he was 6 weeks old. I'm so grateful for the number of pictures I have of him; 100s upon 100s, and a handful of videos. A lot of life has been lived; it went by so fast. My home right now does not feel like home anymore without Oakley in it. It's empty and cold. I am sure it will get better as we replace these sad times with happy memories of him, but it's hard nonetheless to be here. No more smiling face to greet me each morning. No smiling face looking down from me on the stairs as I walk in the door each night. No more barks for food, water, or walks, or just for a good rub-down. No more of those cute little head tilts every time you talked to him making it seem like he understood everything that you said to him. And frankly, no more daily conversations with him. Oakley was so smart, and I swear he knew what we were saying. I am going to miss everything about him. My heart is truly in a million pieces.

Oakley, you were truly special and amazing. You brought us such happiness and love into our lives. We could never have asked for a better dog. You were perfect in every way. You weren't just a dog; You were our boy, our sweet boy. You will be forever loved and in our hearts. We miss you so much!!!

John, Sara & Maya

First 2010 update - Started the Neoplasene treatment

2010-01-02T08:36:00.000-06:00

I did start Oakley on the Neoplasene treatment on December 31st. This incorporates a pretty big change in his diet. Prior to starting, I had to transition him to a raw diet: raw meats and veggies. The veggies however, I tend to cook though. I also transitioned Maya to the same diet - just easier that way. It is a lot of work, but hopefully will get easier as I get my own system down and prepare foods in advance, etc.

So, basically, I did go with contacting Michelle Yasson in Kingston, NY. I had my 1st phone appt on December 23rd. It went well, she was very nice and answered all my questions. Explained the treatment, went over everything. I do have to get him off his Piroxicam, which I am a bit leery of doing. I'm scared that this drug is what is keeping the tumor from getting bigger at the moment. The thing is is that the Neo is supposed to destroy the tumor anyway.

He takes the Neo in his food - it is a nasty, bitter liquid that is quite astringent tasting. The difficult part is hiding the flavor in the food, but so far I think I have been doing a good job of that. Using Neo on a regular dry dog food diet is just not possible. You have to feed raw, raw/cooked, or cooked diets. The drug can also cause nausea, especially at the higher doses. To start he is to have 1.0cc twice per day. I started him out at .5cc 2x/day, then .6cc, and today I'm going to do .7cc 2xday. I didn't want to just throw him into a full dose without knowing if he will react right off the bat. Before I feed him his breakfast and dinner, I prep his tummy by giving him a small yogurt mixture mixed with DGL tablets and a Slippery Elm supplment. This is to help prevent the nausea. If this doesn't work for him as he gets into the higher dosing, I will probably have no choice but to have him use the Reglan (antinausea med that can be described). I hope though that the all-natural approach works out well.

As far as using his Piroxicam, we are slowly working him off it. He is now only taking it every other day for the past 4 days. Today we skip. I noticed already this morning, that he did a quick huffing/snuffy noise after his yogurt. He hasn't done that since the end of November. I am concerned that after skipping his piroxicam the other day that his symptom returned, but it's very likely that the Neo that I have given him is actually starting to work on the tumor. I was told that we would see a return of the symptoms as the tumor and cancel cells are being killed off and the body works to get rid of the dead cells. If this is the case, it makes sense that he would have some irritation in his nasal/sinus passages. Let's hope this is why he did it.

Our big fear is that we may end up shortening his life by trying this therapy when maybe if we didn't pursue it we could keep him with us for another year or so. I guess it is a gamble. There are a lot of success stories, in which this helps prolong the animal's life and even cure the cancer where it doesn't return. The FDA only approves this in veterinary use and the Neo is only considered a supplement. They should be doing human studies, IMO. I don't know the success of doing this with the type of cancer that Oakley has, but Michelle Yasson has been treating another dog with Oakley's type of cancer now for 7 months and she said that so far there has been no progression of the disease. I am at least going to try this for 2-3 months and then see about getting some type of xray, possibly another CT, but I'm kind of ruling that out at the moment, and see if there is any way to find out if the tumor has shrunk at all.

I have also found a local holistic vet in Blaine to help. They are so nice there and I'm hoping we will have the support we need to help us through the treatment if we need it. At least one of the vets there has heard of the Neoplasene and they have heard positive things about it. I am working on trying to find a way if there is a way to dilute the Neo that we have and somehow get Oakley to inhale it, like a mist or something, through his nose. This might require sedation. But, I'm still researching and have to talk to Yasson.

Well, I have to get the dogs' breakfast ready and administer Oakley's supplements and the Neo. Will keep everyone updated on our progress. Please say some prayers that we might have a fighting chance to beat this cancer!

Update time!

2009-12-17T10:59:00.000-06:00

Just wanted to get an update on here, as I was going to post something after finding out his latest bloodwork, etc. According to the doctor, his blood work was "beautiful"! So, that was comforting. Everything is within normal ranges. I also just wanted to add that his huffing episodes have since stopped for now. We changed his dosing schedule so that he was taking his pill in the morning. I really don't know if that made any difference, or what. But, it's good to know that I have not heard him do that for a couple of weeks now. I asked the doctor if she honestly thought Oakley will make it a year and she told me that she truly believed he will still be with us because he is doing remarkably well. However, I know that this can probably change in an instant; you just never know. I am hoping and praying that the radiation treatment has stopped the tumor growth, and hopefully shrunk it, and we will be able to manage it long-term with little complications. I can hope for that, right?

I am kind of torn about pursuing Neoplasene treatment. The hardest part is finding a local vet who will actually be willing to try it or who has even heard of it. A part of me just thinks that we have done everything we can already for Oakley and now it's just a wait and see, and basically just let him live out the rest of his life, for however long that may be, as happy and comfortable as possible. Neo could cause more discomfort for him and may not do anything to the tumor. But, then perhaps it could shrink it. The only vet willing to do anything is one in New York, all via phone consultations. I'm just not too keen on that idea, not having a local vet around for exams and such.

I've been reading around some messageboards and it has been so sad to read about the dogs that didn't survive very long after their diagnosis, or who are just going through a difficult time, struggling with their cancer. It's truly heartbreaking and it makes me obviously think, is this Oakley's fate? The original vet gave Oakley 3-6 months without treatment. He has had all scientifically proven treatment, besides surgery, since his diagnosis and it has been 4 months so far. Thankfully he's doing great at the moment. I can only hope he will continue to fight this and that we will have some control over the disease for awhile yet.

Here's a picture of Oakley last night - he was out like a light! The quality is a little grainy as I took it from my cell phone and the lighting wasn't very bright.

Seeing him sleeping so soundly just melts my heart and just gives me comfort. It also saddens me a bit because I know that someday his bed will be empty. But, I should stop thinking like that and just concentrate on the present. It's just something I have to keep reminding myself.

Quick Update -

2009-11-30T21:07:00.000-06:00

Oakley had his 1 month (maybe more like month and a half) post-radiation checkup. He had a chest xray and some bloodwork done and a basic exam. Thankfully, the xrays showed his lungs were clear; no indication that the cancer may have spread. His lymphnodes also were normal. Not sure what his bloodwork will show, but hopefully it will be okay. Piroxicam can cause some kidney/liver issues when taken every day as it is a NSAID.

I talked to the doctor about his recent "huffing". She said not to be too concerned about it right now and just continue to monitor it and look for increased intensity and if it starts occurring more and more frequently throughout the day. If it gets worse, then a CT scan should be done early to see what is going on. Otherwise, we just wait a couple of more months before proceeding with a CT scan, as the tumor can continue to shrink over the course of the next couple of months.

As suspected, she knew absolutely nothing about Neoplasene and proceeded to tell me they only perform treatments based on scientific evidence through studies, or whatever. However, she told me that I could contact a doctor at the U who specializes in acupuncture and such and works in the "holistic" field. She is not sure if this doctor has heard of Neoplasene, but told me to call her and find out. I'm guessing she won't know anything either and I am going to have to continue to do some research or take a chance with this online vet; the oncologist was not comfortable with me going that route. Of course, I don't blame her as I'm not fond of the idea either, but she's certainly not giving me a choice. I just can't believe an oncologist has not heard about neoplasene - seems odd. I wonder if she wouldn't try the same thing with her dog - I should have asked her, I guess.

Oh well...Oakley is doing great overall and I do feel a little better about things for the time being. Hopefully, the bloodwork comes back okay.

Picture time!

2009-11-24T21:31:00.004-06:00

Here are some pics I took tonight!

He looks really good! Honestly, you'd never know he had radiation therapy on his face. I am still basically in denial that my dog has this awful cancer inside him. It's just not fair - AT ALL. It really makes me furious that it turned out this way. It's been hard to concentrate on other things because I just want to spend as much as I can with him, and I hate that most of my day is spent away from him. I know he is just a dog, as some people would say, but I don't have kids and right now my dogs are basically furry, four-legged kids and are just an important part of my life. It's just I can't imagine how lonely and sad it will be when he is gone. I'm not ready to lose him, but I do understand that we will never be ready for something like that. I just still think of him as a pup. Damn it - life you suck sometimes!!

As far as an update on how he is doing, he is doing pretty well. He is still having some mild huffing episodes, but nothing that doesn't stop within a few seconds, at least so far, thankfully, and it's maybe only once in a 24hr period. I'm giving his Piroxicam basically every 18-20 hrs. His eyes still water quite a bit, especially the right one, but nothing too bad. I'm sure this is something he'll have the remainder of his life. Sometimes he paws at his eyes but only for a second, and when he does I give them a nice gentle rub and he seems to like that and it makes it feel better, I guess. The vet in NY called back about my email concerning the Neoplasene treatment. I have not called back yet. I guess I can get a free 5 min phone consult with the doctor to talk in general about the protocol. I haven't made up my mind to do it or not. It would seem weird to have a Dr. in NY handle this treatment. I mean, I'm not even sure if she really is reputable. I have to do some more research. I really hope our current oncologist at the U will be helpful, at least maybe recommending me to someone who maybe can help.

Anyway, just thought I would post some pics and such as it has been awhile! Hope you enjoy them! Have a great night!

Just checking in...

2009-11-22T17:09:00.000-06:00

Last week was not a good one. I was pretty upset seeing Oakley's symptoms return and wondering if things are getting worse. I know they will, but I just felt like it was just too early for it. Friday night I got to thinking that Oakley started his huffing literally a day after starting his new bottle of Piroxicam. I have been wondering if perhaps there is an issue with the drug, as far as the quality of it, or maybe the dosage is wrong. I have not called Target yet, but I am contemplating on getting the prescription re-filled. In the meantime, for the last 2 days I have switched up his schedule and have been giving him his pill every 18-20 hrs instead of 24hr in case it was wearing off too early or something. So far today he has not had an episode of his huffing and he seems to be doing really good. I'm going to try this schedule for sure until I talk to the vet on the 30th and see what she makes of it.

I have also been doing some research and found a treatment using a drug called Neoplasene. It is derived from black root, a Native American herb. It's not used in convential medicine, but there are vets using it to treat mast cell tumors. Apparently, when it is applied to the tumor, it kills it. I have found a couple of cases where owners have used it for nasal carcinomas - they apply it via nose drops - and have had success in managing the cancer. I found a yahoo support group for neoplasene and cancer in dogs so I am hoping to get a lot more information. I am also going to talk to the oncologist to see if she has heard of it, or perhaps has a colleague. Unfortunately, you can only get this by vet prescription, but since it's not "convential" most likely I am going to have some major resistance getting Oakley on this treatment. If our current oncologist hasn't heard about it and its use in treating cancer, well, I'm going to be pretty disappointed in her as a doctor. I called a local holistic vet to see if they have heard of it, but wasn't able to speak to a doctor - just some office manager. She indicated they only use Chinese herbs and I told her that I only needed a vet who would be willing to try this approach out and see my dog. She said she would leave a message for the doctors to see if they would be interested in over seeing this type of treatment, but I'm guessing I will never hear from them. I'm not sure if I will end up going this route or not, mostly because I need to find a vet who will help me and that will not be easy - at least I don't think it will.

I am trying to stay positive right now and just continue to cherish and treasure every day I have left with him.

Vet appt scheduled

2009-11-17T18:40:00.000-06:00

Oakley is all set to go see the doctor on November 30th. I just returned from our nighly walk and right before we got home he did 4 quick little "huffs" again, which were on the mild side, but nonetheless, the symptom he had before treatment - no mistaking it. It really bothers me that this is starting up again, even if they are very brief. This is 2 days in a row. They did happen outside again, so I'm hoping I can contribute that to the cool weather and the fact that his nasal passage is recovering from being radiated. He has not done it at any other time. I won't try and be too worried yet unless it does start happening every day, including when he's in the house. I just don't see any reason why this would start up again unless the Piroxicam stopped working as far as keeping down the inflammation and/or the tumor is growing. But, I'm no doctor...we'll see.

I'll keep people posted, especially if he continues to do this more frequently (God willing, that won't be the case). I might try posting a video I have of Oakley in one of his "huffing" fits, in case people would like to see what his main symptom was. I'll have to dig around for it, but I do have it.

Update

2009-11-16T18:30:00.000-06:00

I've been meaning to post an update...I didn't mean to sort of disappear. I really hadn't had much news to share in terms of how he was doing, because frankly, he has been doing pretty well. His eyes get a little gummy, but not really an issue. He does sort of squint his right eye at times. His hair appears to be growing back. I guess the reason I decided to post tonight is because I believe I heard the dreaded "huffing" noise when he was outside this evening. It was like 4 quick "huffs". Very, very similar to the what he did at the beginning of all this. I am very worried as to what this might mean. This is the first time he has done this since about a week and a half after he started the Piroxicam and then his radiation treatment. I'm pretty sure it's what I heard. The doctor said that over the next couple of months the tumor should continue to shrink...I'm not sure that is the case for us. Of course, I am thinking worst case - that it is growing again. Perhaps the cold weather is making his nasal passages more sensitive...I don't know. I can only hope, I guess, and just keep a close eye out if he starts doing this on a regular basis. He is due for a 1 month check up - he needs a chest xray and some bloodwork. Looks like I will have to call and get that scheduled sooner than later. He's still eating well and very active. Doesn't look like he's lost any weight. What is scary is that even if he has to live with these symptoms and we just have to accept that they are only going to get worse as time goes on, I am just so scared and worried as to how long he CAN live with them. I mean, I really feel like another 2 yrs is a long shot. Have something like Adenocarcinoma definitely sounds like something you can't live long with. I have been crying a bit more lately thinking about losing him. I realize that this will happen, but this is so, so difficult and I don't know how I am going to get through it.

The vet said the CT scan would be in another couple of months. I'm thinking maybe I will schedule it for December sometime, as I truly think the radiation has done the damage it was going to do, because he is healing, and if he is healing, I have to think the damn tumor is not being affected anymore. If it shrunk enough, maybe there is a possibility they could remove most of it to give us more time, but I'm guessing that this is all just wishful thinking, not to mention another very large vet bill. I know I can't blame myself, but I wish I could turn back time and would have brought him in when the huffing symptoms started late last winter when the tumor would have been most likely small enough to remove and then treat it with radiation. Of course, I can't say that they would have suggested a CT scan back then and I probably still wouldn't have known for some time. No use in beating myself up, but I still wish I would have been able to do things differently.

This is just really, really depressing at the moment to realize that perhaps the radiation treatment didn't do much of anything for him, and unfortunately, I won't know if that is true unless we spend the money on the CT. This just sucks.

I realized it has been a while since I posted!

2009-10-24T18:29:00.001-05:00

I thought I would check in and give everyone an update on how Oakley is doing. This past Monday he had his 2 week post-radiation check-up. He is doing surprisingly well as far as the severity of the side effects. Side effects are quite noticeable now and started to become quite visible since treatment has ended. His left inner eye lid is finally starting to heal, but he's losing more hair around the eye. Also, he's losing hair under his right eye. We found out that they radiated him on both sides of his face to make sure they get all of the tumor. But, besides some hair loss and eye watering, he is in very good spirits. The doctor said that the tumor should continue to shrink over the course of the next couple of months. She recommended that we come back in a month so they can do some more bloodwork, and they would like to get a couple of chest x-rays to make sure that the cancer has not spread to his lungs, which is what this type of cancer can do as it progresses. His lungs were clear of any sign before treatment, so hopefully that is what we will find again. Three to 6 months after radiation treatment is when we would decide to have them do another CT scan to see just what the radiation has done to the tumor. It sounds like if it's small enough, they can then go in and remove it surgically, which, if everything went okay, would continue to prolong his life and keep the cancer at bay. The use of Piroxicam, which he is still currently taking, will also prove beneficial in controlling the cancer; at least I am hopeful. I've read some blogs from other dog owners who did not choose radiation, but just did Piroxicam and a couple of other drugs, and one owner said her dog was going on 3 years survival. So, it does give me some hope.

Here are some pics showing some of the side effects of the radiation:

You can see the lighter fur under his eyes - the middle pic is blurry, but I was trying to get a shot of his inner eyelid, but it didn't work out very well. I just saw today that right above his right eye, he's losing more fur. It's like it's getting rubbed right off. Poor guy... :(

Just checking in...

2009-10-12T21:24:00.000-05:00

Okay, I said I was going to get a picture of Oakley's eye. I haven't done it yet, and now probably won't. Thankfully, the inflammation is going down, although his eye is still watery. What's weird is that his other eye is watering now too, but thankfully not irritated or anything. A part of me wonders if the excess tears from his right eye are somehow overflowing into his left eye...is that possible? I have no idea. He has his 2-week post radiation appt on Friday, so that is a question I will be asking the doctor.

Oakley has been doing really well so far. He sleeps a little more than he used to though, but sometimes I wonder if it's just that it feels better to keep his eye closed because of the irritation. Not sure. But, he is also playing, in fact, he was VERY mischievious this evening. Going crazy, getting into stuff, barking, and dragging his bed all over the house. He's also eating really well, too.

Both dogs were pretty excited about it snowing - they were pretty happy waking up Saturday morning with freshly fallen snow to play around in. They were out for about 2 hours running around and then just lounging on the deck in the snow. However, once it gets a little bit colder, Oakley will not be hanging out there too long. His feet get too cold. He'll sit there and lift his paw in the air, and when the other gets old, he puts that paw down and lifts the other. It's super funny, especially when he's trying to do the same thing with his back legs!! :) Maya, on the otherhand, she'll spend all day out there if I let her - which I don't, of course. But, she's built for this kind of weather, and frankly, she's got enough insulation with her thick coat and she IS a little bit on the plump side...hehe.

So, for now, everyone is doing great!

Talk to you all soon!

Just a quick update

2009-10-08T13:46:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to update everyone on Oakley's eye situation. The doctor examined his eye and they did a stain on it to make sure it wasn't scratched, which it wasn't, thankfully. However, they do think it is a side-effect as a result of the radiation. She said it could get a bit worse before it gets better. She gave me basically the same type of salve that I used the other night on his eye and said to put it in twice a day for 7 days, but if after 7 days it's still bad, to continue with it until our appointment next Friday (2-week post radiation checkup). He paws at it just a teeny bit, and he does like it when we kind of put our hands over his eye and give it a gentle rub. Maybe it is more itchy than painful...hopefully.

While we were there waiting for the medication at the pharmacy, I heard someone shout, "Hey, Oakley!" Oakley got so excited as a brunette walked up. It was Susan, whom I had talked to several times over the phone through the course of treatment. He definitely recognized and jumped up and down, wagged his tail, did little spins around. It was really cute. Then another girl came by and shouted the same thing basically and Oakley went all nuts again and seemed so happy to see her. It definitely made me see with 100% certainty that he was well cared for while he was there.

I'm going to try and get a picture of Oakley's eye. It's not really gross or anything, but I just want to post it as documentation of how things are progressing.

Heading to the U this afternoon

2009-10-06T12:57:00.001-05:00

I got an appointment to see the doctor today at the U to examine his eye. It still looks terrible, and it's goopy. He does wince when you touch the area, so obviously something is not right. I hope it is something simple to treat (gosh I hope so!). I also hope that I'm only charged a recheck fee, not the usual $150 doctor fee. Oh well, either way, it has to be done. He's got his harness on and he's ready to roll! :)

First Monday after completion of treatment

2009-10-05T21:49:00.002-05:00

It was really nice not having to get up extra early and get Oakley to the hospital. What a huge relief to be done. However, he's been super tired overall since Friday and now his eye is really rather red and inflammed in the inner corner. The doctor said he should be seen right away to determine if it's irritation caused by the radiation, or a scratch or other infection. I hope we can get in tomorrow. I had some left over eye medicine used for infections/scratches, etc and have put a little bit in. I'm not sure if that was a good idea or not. It seemed to bring down the inflammation a tad until I just fooled around with getting a little more in there. Secondly, I'm not sure if the doctor would freak if she knew I did this. I hope it looks better after 8 hrs...it looks painful, honestly. Thankfully, he has quit pawing at it. I'm not sure what I will do if I can't get to the U. I really don't want to take him to the regular vet whatsoever. I guess we'll see what they say tomorrow, but you'd think if one of their patients needed to get in after just finishing radiation therapy that they would somehow squeeze us in...I have this feeling though we are just beginning to have to deal with eye problems.

Besides the eye issue and him seeming tired, he's doing pretty good otherwise; he was quite playful tonight with Maya and he's still eating great, etc. I would have taken the dogs out tonight, but it's been raining all night. Yuck. I turned the furnace on for the first time this season; 64 degrees in the house was just too cold for me!!

Good night - I'll post back soon. I hope to have some news about Oakley's eye tomorrow.

Treatment is over - Yay!

2009-10-04T19:41:00.001-05:00

Friday was Oakley's last day of treatment! It was a long 4 weeks. It was much more stressful in the beginning not knowing what to expect and so forth. Oakley really did great throughout this whole experience and held up well to the daily anesthesia and just crazy schedule. Even though we hadn't seen any side effects, there is still a good possibility they will start to creep up now. In fact, I noticed today that Oakley's right eye is a bit red in the corner and it's watering. I think it's kind of itchy. He is trying to swipe at it with his paw and if I rub it, he moans as if I'm scratching an itch for him that was really bothering him. I think we will have problems with his right eye. I mean, it was in the direct field of radiation - how could it not get damaged? I'm worried about what we might see now that treatment is over. I really hope side effects will be fairly mild. We have to go back in 2 weeks for his post-radiation check-up. I hope at that time, he'll be doing fantastic. We'll then have to make a decision in the coming months whether or not we will do another CT scan to if the treatment had any effect on the tumor. How awful it would be if it did nothing...I just can't believe though that that would be the case, but nothing is guaranteed.

I will continue to post on a regular basis and let you all know how Oakley is doing. I hope that I can continue to be able to post only positive news about Oakley, and I hope to be able to do that for some time to come. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers!

2 days left!! Yay!!

2009-09-30T19:24:00.000-05:00

Oakley is ALMOST done! This will be such a relief when we are done with this whole thing. However, I just pray that this will have made a difference for him; it has to have done something to help him. I still can't see him as having a deadly form of cancer. Especially now that all of his symptoms are gone and he's still just his normal self, although a bit worn out during the week from the treatments. No significant changes, either. I'm still waiting for the negative side effects that we were told would happen? It makes me a bit worried they really are doing nothing but taking our money. Yes, that would be fraud and yes, they would be in BIG trouble if they did this. I guess I am just being cynical and annoyed by what they can get away with as far as charging for services and medications.

I do know that they are taking such good care of him. There is woman there named Kim who just adores Oakley and I think she's the one that for the most parts takes care of him; feeds him lunch if he wants, takes him out for his potty breaks and so forth, and gives him lots of attention. She has told us how much she enjoys Oakley being there. I do have a funny story about today. This morning I woke up at 4:30am to a VERY bad smell in the house. I thought for sure Oakley or Maya had an accident, and I was not going to be happy if I had to clean something up at that ridiculous hour, half asleep. I ran around the house looking for where the dogs might have pooped, but couldn't find evidence. The whole upstairs literally reeked - it was bad. Turns out that Oakley just had REALLY bad gas. I mean, it stuck around for like 2 hours - that bad. I took him out 3 times before John drove him to the U for his treatment, but he just would not go. He also did not go when John got to the U. John picked him up this afternoon and Kim said to him, "Yeah, I was walking Oakley to his therapy session and all of a sudden he started to squat and next thing I know, he crapped all over my shoes!!" She said that is why she doesn't wear socks to work and wears those plastic Crocs - easy to clean! LOL!!! Thankfully, she wasn't the least bit annoyed and laughed about it herself - I'm sure accidents like that do happen from time to time. When she handed Oakley over to my husband, she knelt down next to him and said "Oakley, will you sing for me?" And Oakley did his whiny howl thing he does and then gave her a big 'ole kiss on the face! That's my Oakley - loves giving kisses!! :) Then she gave him a big hug back. So, I know that he is defintely cared for. I really like Kim - she is so great with him and I'm glad to know he has someone like that taking care of him while he goes through something like this.

Just took this picture of him this evening:

He looks pretty good - and actually happy! :)

Have a good night!

Weekend Update -

2009-09-27T17:01:00.000-05:00

Oakley is going to be starting his FINAL week of therapy! Yay! I am so glad we are almost done with this. However, I wish we could know right away how much this will have helped him. This weeked he was really great! Energetic, playful, just his usual self pre-treatment. Still no side effects that I can see. I hope it stays that way, but I just don't know what's going to happen. I don't really have any additional news to report. Only 5 more days!!

Treatment #13 -

2009-09-24T18:55:00.000-05:00

Oakley is almost done with week 3!! Time is moving much faster than I thought it would, which I am thankful for. We are definitely looking forward to the weekend though. Oakley is doing really good again today, overall. He's still eating really good, still wanting to go for walks, etc. I have noticed, however, that when they don't do his treatments until the afternoon, it takes a bigger toll on him as far as his energy level. When he gets his treatment first thing in the morning, he's much more energetic and upbeat. I hope they can do the remainder of his sessions in the morning.

I found out that the radiation therapy is not what is causing him to lose his hair across his nose. It turns out that they are shaving those lines. Again, they could have just told us that. I also got his recent bloodwork results and everything is within normal range and the best part is that his white blood cell count is down to 7.9!! That is down from 33.0 when this all started!! The Piroxcam is what really brought it down though initially because when they did his first bloodwork before radiation began, his WBC was down to 13. I am just so happy that everything is back within normal ranges. I'm hoping this is a good sign that we are making some good progress against this tumor.

Here is a pic of Oakley from today:

Still looking good! :)

Start of the 3rd week of treatment

2009-09-21T21:50:00.001-05:00

First off, Oakley had a wonderful weekend. He was very energetic, playful, and overall a happy dog. It was so nice to see that! :) He was really happy with the new beds, too! Here are some pics of him sleeping - he was out like a light. He looks pretty dang comfy!

This is the bed I put in our bedroom next to my side. A nice thick mattress type bed.

Here is the nice big, soft pillow I got for the living room.

Here's another cute pic of him after he switched positions.

Now for today - Oakley completed his first treatment of his 3rd week. The nurse/tech (I am not sure what they call themselves) said that he did really good today, and even ate lunch. I kind of wish they wouldn't feed him. They feed him Science Diet and I personally don't want my dog eating that particular brand. I suppose I could tell them not to feed him, but if he's hungry, I don't know, I don't want to deny him any food. Besides not really liking that brand of food, I don't want him not to eat when he gets home either. He really ever only eats once per day. I now know why he isn't really finishing all his dinner in the evening. I think I will need to ask them how much they are giving him. I sent him in today with a harness and a good sturdy lease. MUCH better getting him to and from his treatment and not having him pull so hard that he chokes himself and causes a bloody nose when wearing the collared leash. I think the harness was definitely a good idea and I instructed the techs NOT to ever use they cheap disposable leashes on him going forward.

Tonight Oakley is SUPER tired. I was going to take the dogs out for a walk, but I decided against it. He is basically just nodding off whereve he lays down, or even stands, for that matter. It's cute because he'll nod off and then jerk his head up trying his hardest to stay awake. I wish he would just conk out though and get some sleep. I think once we head off to bed he'll crash pretty hard. Hopefully he will be rested for tomorrow. Thankfully, John is taking him for treatment tomorrow, so I can sleep in an extra hour or so...yippee! :)

So far, Oakley hasn't had any serious side effects yet that I can tell. I am wondering if he is in any discomfort or anything. He makes it hard to tell. I don't see any sores, or other skin issues, or burns in his mouth or anything like that, or anything wrong with his eye. I'm wondering if something will crop up this week. It does worry me since I don't know what to expect and I know we just can't escape the side effects...so, just waiting for them to start appearing is very nerve-wracking. Here is a snapshot of Oakley I just took this evening:

The horizontal lines across his nose are getting more prominent, and his hair is thinning or gone altogether. I guess this could be considered a side effect? I'm not really sure.

Well, take care all! More updates to come!! Good night!

Week #2 Complete!

2009-09-18T19:43:00.000-05:00

Oakley finished up his second week of treatment! Yay! :) He is doing very well so far. They think perhaps his nose bleed was caused by him pulling so tightly on his leash; he practically chokes himself. I can see the logic in that, especially with what is going on inside his nasal cavity. He had just a few light drops today as well - I noticed them when I got him in the car, but nothing to where his tongue was covered in blood (very scary sight). It stopped almost immediately, so I'm thinking perhaps it could be his over excitement and pulling. I am going to be bringing him in going forward in a harness. They said that would probably be a good idea since he is so spastic when it's time to go home; plus they'll get a little bit more control over him.

I don't have a picture to post tonight...not a whole lot has changed though. I'm thinking we may see more side effects going into week three, but honestly, if it stays like this, I would be so, so happy. I just am not getting my hopes up though. I still plan on taking them out for a walk this evening. We didn't go last night - I was just too tired. I feel guilty about it...I'm really grateful to John throughout this so far. He's been bringing him in every morning and has picked him up the majority of the time. Thanks, John! I really do appreciate it and I love you! :)

Treatment #8

2009-09-17T18:49:00.000-05:00

Overall, Oakley is doing really well so far. However, the nurse told John that today Oakley had a nose bleed right before he picked him up today. She wasn't sure if he hit his nose or what. She is going to notify the doctor about it and she what she has to say. This will be Oakley's first nosebleed in a little over 3 weeks. Seems odd that he would get one now if related to the tumor. I'm a little worried as to what that might mean. We'll see what the doctor says. Otherwise, all the nurses just love him and he's being a really good boy when he is there. He's eating great and wants to continue to go for walks. He does get a bit fatigued, but overall he does seem in good spirits. Perhaps getting into a routine is helping him calm down. He continues to get better with his car rides, too.

John did have a conversation with Dr. Cannon on Wednesday and got clarification on everything that is going on. He's still pissed about it all, but there really isn't much he can do about it. The doctor apologized - I mean that is all she could really do. We will continue with treatment as planned. She said that once treatment is if finished, they would like to do another CT scan in 2-3 months to see how the radiation affected the tumor. Of course, this is more money out of our pocket so we will have to decide whether or not we are going to spend the additional money to get another scan done. It would be interesting to find out how successful we are at killing the tumor though. Either way, once we are done Oakley just continues on normally with really no more vet appointments to treat or monitor the cancer. However, she said that if/when the symptoms return, there really is nothing more they can do. The radiation treatment can only be done the one time - but I would not put him through it again anyway. At that time, I will just try to make sure he is as comfortable as possible and will wait for him to tell us when he is ready to go, which will be such a heart-wrenching moment in my life. I just that this treatment is going to give us that extra time with him that we are so hoping for.

Can't wait for the weekend - we can all relax again for another 2 days!!

Treatment Day #6 and overall update

2009-09-15T20:18:00.002-05:00

I'm a little behind, I see. It's easy to get caught up with other things and then decide to go to bed instead of updating your blog. :) Today was Oakley's 6th treatment. He looks great as is acting normal, like he has been I guess. Still whiny though, but that's Oakley.

Today I got some interesting info though from the Oncologist's assistant or whoever she was. I had put in a request to find out the results of Oakley's biopsy on his lymphnodes because they hadn't gotten back to me. It turns out that everything is okay; the cancer has not spread. However, I then find out from her that the extra "node" they are using the radiation therapy on is his actual lymph node!! I thought that "node" in this case meant "area". The office girl I talked to last week, when we were questioning the cost of the therapy, indicated that the "node" was the area above the right eye, or that is at least how I took it. So, since starting, he has been getting his nasal/eye area treated and also underneath his right chin where the lymph node is. Now, I think I remember asking her why this needed to be done if there was no cancer, but to be honest, I don't have a clue what she said. I was so surprised that I just didn't register the info. She apologized that no one had called us to explain what was going on and thought someone would have explained all this to us...hmm, they are going to leave this type of info to an office assistant to relay (which obviously she got wrong to begin with or couldn't relay it correctly)?

My husband is quite angry about this whole situation for several reasons:

1.) They never explained exactly what areas they were going to treat once the radiologist came up with their plan of action; no one mentioned anything about treating the lymphnode just as a precaution.  We were basically not given a choice as to whether we wanted to include the lymphnode in the treatment. Apparently, they just made the decision to do it "just in case". Of course, I probably would have been for it because I want to do whatever I can for Oakley. But, my husband is upset that we didn't hear about any of this upfront before treatment began; they did not present it to us an additional course of action.

2.) They originally misquoted us and didn't explain in detail every line item on the estimate (although, I blame myself somewhat for not asking someone to clarify the estimate line items).

3.) They failed to call us 2 days in a row to tell us that Oakley was ready to be picked up and to give us a general summary of how Oakley did each day.

4.) They also failed to explain that Oakley will need to receive 2 treatments in 1 day for his last treatment, so that his 20th dose can end on a Friday. Apparently, they always end a full course on a Friday. We thought them starting us on a Tuesday was odd because to get his 20th dose, he would have to go back in after a weekend of rest to finish on a Monday. John was angry about this because he saw no sense in doing this treatment and was questioning the validity of it. The office assistant I talked to today (before I talked to the doctor's asst) was like "Oh, no one talked to you about doing the 2 treatments in one day?" For crying out loud, NO. No one apparently tells us anything.

So, I put a call back into the office explaining that John is expecting to meet with the Oncologist and/or her assistant first thing in the morning upon drop off, or when he goes to pick him up for the day, to discuss all of our concerns and our complaints, especially where misinformation and lack of communication are concerned.

This is such a scary thing for us, not to mention a very expensive one, and to not have them keep us fully aware at all times and be readily available to talk, is definitely unacceptable. I don't doubt they are giving Oakley very good care, but it's just they are absolutely terrible about staying in constant contact and I feel like we are being mislead to try and go through the most expensive treatment as possible. I do remember the assistant telling me that chemotherapy probably wasn't necessary since they didn't find anything in the lymphnode, but I am surprised they didn't push that on is as well.

I really hope they are not trying to make us go through unnecessary and expensive treatment because this is a teaching hospital. I bet they like to do useless treatment and tests on animals in order for their students to get some experience. I hate to be cynical, but I can't help but think that way. We'll see what happens after my husband talks to them. I told him he needs to do that, as they can easily take advantage of me by playing on my emotions, and no doubt will encourage me to see the necessity of everything they are doing.

Anyway, that is my rant for today. My boy is doing good, but he is pooped out and is totally passed out under my computer desk.  He needs the rest though - 3 more days til the weekend! On a positive note, Susan (the office asst gal) claims that Oakley is apparently acting happy to be there and playing with the workers, and other dogs.  So, I guess that's good unless they are just telling me that to make me feel better - who knows at this point.

Here is a cute pic of Oakley from this afternoon:

His horizontal markings are getting more pronounced - I guess this is where he is starting to lose his hair or something. I'm wondering what kind of side effects will occur with him getting his lymph node treated. I also need to ask that. I hope that his throat doesn't get sore and painful...another question to try and find out. I was able to save some money by getting my regular vet to fill his Piroxicam prescription at Target though - only $15 versus the $40 it would have cost me at the U. How do vets get away with these outrageous costs, anyway?!

Okay, now I'm done with my rant. :)

Day 4 Update and Saturday's Update

2009-09-12T22:27:00.002-05:00

So, I did not get around to updating last night. Overall, Oakley was doing really well - a little whiny, but much better than the night before. He did much better riding in the car on the way home. I hope he continues to get calmer and calmer, because it is super stressful driving with him in the car. He justs so whiny, barky and anxious. John, myself, Oakley and Maya all went on a nice long walk Friday night, and he was much more energetic and did really well. He is still eating really well, too.

This was the 2nd day in a row that the U did not call us when Oakley was ready to picked up. My husband was home today and could of have picked him up any time in the afternoon. As it was, since I didn't get a call, I ended up getting him at 5:30, on my way home from work. I left the Oncology department a message that I was not happy about the lack of communication and that we want to be able to pick him up as soon as possible, because I want him to be there as little as possible.

Today (Saturday) he has been doing great. No longer whiny like he normally is after treatment. The time off is definitely having a positive effect on him; seems relaxed and much happier. He's my little shadow though. He follows me everywhere. John said that we could get him a nice bed - one of those thick mattress type dog beds and set it up right next to me in our bedroom. Oakley loves being able to sleep in our room with us now and I just love having him next to me.

Here are some pics. This one is from Friday night - with Maya included:

They took out his catheter on Friday. You can see on his leg there it's shaved and looks kind of bruised. It must kind of be itchy or something, because I caught him licking it quite a bit Friday night and had to make him stop. I guess they take it out for the weekend and put back in Monday morning.

Here is a picture from today:

Such a cutie! :) He was waiting for me to give him his Sam's Yam Sweet Potato treat. If you've never given one of these to your dog, find a bag. They will go nuts for them! They are on the expensive side though...you have to either order them online or at one of those smaller pet stores, not like PetSmart or Petco. We get our food and treats from Pet Junction in Shoreview.

Well, until tomorrow! Goodnight!

Day 3 Update

2009-09-10T21:01:00.000-05:00

Oakley is pretty tired today. I think perhaps that he didn't get his treatment until later in the day. He seemed like he just sort of woke up from anesthesia or something when I saw him after work. John came home from his business trip and was able to pick Oakley up on his way home from the airport. They said everything went great again.

He was very hungry and very thirsty, so at least he has his appetite and he wanted seconds. I just can't wait for the weekend so he'll have 2 days of rest. He really needs it - we all do! I don't think we'll be going for our evening walk tonight. Even though I know he would go, I just think he needs to relax tonight.

Honestly, I just can't imagine that even when we are done with this week we'll still have 3 more weeks to go!! I just keep reminding myself that if we can get through this treatment process, and he starts to heal, he will hopefully get back to his regular self, because he really isn't right now. But, we are giving him lots of love and affection and I hope he's comforted a little bit.

Here is today's picture. It is a great one!! :)

He actually looks fairly happy and upbeat in this picture, but unfortunately his demeanor is anything but. As it is right now, he's kind of lost that twinkle in his eyes. I know he's just not feeling himself or very well, and I really think right now it is due to the fact he has to be at the hospital all day long and because of the daily anesthesia he receives.

One more day and then we can all take a little break...at least until Monday.

Good night!!

Day 2 - Update 2

2009-09-09T20:36:00.001-05:00

Picked Oakley up this afternoon. He was a bit calmer, but once he saw me he was ready to run for the door! He is pretty whiny tonight and kind of agitated at times. I am unsure if he is just sort of tired, or if he is in any sort of discomfort. He did eat dinner tonight and is taking snacks, so that is good. I just took him and Maya out for a walk and he was unusually calm, not pulling me the first half of the walk trying to smell everything, so that is kind of concerning to me. Maya, who seems to take all her cues from Oakley on how to behave, was also very calm during the walk. I'm not sure if Oakley is just not feeling very well, or if the warm and humid evening is sort of playing a role in his behavior. I think he is just ready for bed at this point.

Here is today's picture:

Obviously, no changes or burns or anything like that, but then it's only Day 2. I think perhaps he misses John a bit. He is out of town for work, but will be back tomorrow. Sometimes Oakley gets that way when John is not around. I am really anxious and a bit scared on how this is all going to unfold because I have no idea what to expect.

I can't wait for the weekend so Oakley can have a bit of a rest. All I hope for is that he gets into a routine and starts to calm down a bit. I know he won't be the happiest dog in the next month or two, but I hope these 2 months of treatment will give us and him many, many more happy months together.

Day 2 - Update 1

2009-09-09T15:32:00.000-05:00

I just got off the phone with Susan in Oncology. Oakley is ready to be picked up, but unfortunately, I can't leave work until closer to 5:00 and I'm bummed, because I just want to scoop him up and give him a big, giant hug! It was really heartbreaking leaving him there this morning. When the tech came to get him, I stood up and he looked at me with his huge brown eyes and this excited look in his eyes like, "Yay, we're going home!". Then when he realized I was walking away, he started crying and whining and lunging for me, with this look of "Mom! Don't leave me!!". Of course, this is how it looked to me and being me I burst into tears. God, and this is only Day 2!!

Anyway, I spoke to Susan about a couple of things. First off, the doctor completely misquoted us the cost of the treatment. I was told $5000-$6000. Yesterday when I dropped him off, they gave me the estimate to sign and the low end of the estimate was $7380! I couldn't believe it and felt mislead. I mean, it's not like I wasn't going to follow through with it, but still. I told Susan that the doctor originally told me that the anesthesia fees, bloodwork, etc, was all included in the $5000-$6000 price. Unfortunately, Susan told me that is not the case and they have had problems with the doctors misquoting clients and not including these extra costs. She also said that Oakley is getting radiation in 2 different sites, which is also extra, but I think she said we are only getting charge the extra node and not the additional separate 15 doses. Apparently, we are getting an extreme discount on that since they are right there anyway.

Again as far as his treatment, Susan confirmed that he is getting 20 doses on his upper nasal area and 15 doses over his right eye. I found out that basically his entire eye is going to be included in the radiation field and there is nothing that can be done to avoid damaging it. There is a possibility he could go blind, but the likely thing to happen is dry eye and/or cataracts. I asked her if it was going to be painful for him and she said that it is not likely to bother him very much. She also said that unfortunately for most dogs with nasal tumors, it's very common to have the eye be included in the radiation field. That completely sucks.

She said that Oakley was doing really well and they were playing ball with him and that they all really enjoy having him. I'm glad he's being a good boy and I hope that he stays upbeat through all of this as best as he can and that I can stay upbeat through all this. I also hope that he learns to chill in the car on the way to and from the hospital. He loves to hear the words "car ride", but once in there he is just a basket case.

Will update more this evening after I get him home and evaluated!!

Day 1

2009-09-08T21:57:00.002-05:00

Oakley was dropped off at the U this morning at 7:00am. Today is the first day of radiation therapy. He had to be anethestized for a couple of hours today in order to get some additional radiographs done, and get some more blood work done and to take a biopsy of his lymph nodes (to confirm whether or not the cancer has spread). I won't know those results for a few days; however, they are not anticpating finding anything abnormal - I pray that is the case.

I waited all day for a call back to see when he would be ready to be picked up and how his treatment went. I heard nothing and had to call myself at 4:30pm. I was quite nervous and scared and wondering why I hadn't heard anything. The receptionist explained that no news is good news and if it was bad I would have heard something right away, but she understood how I felt. She found out that Oakley's treatment went "wonderfully" with no complications. I picked him up around 5:30, and thankfully he looked pretty good, not dazed or anything from the anesthesia, but he definitely wanted to get the hell out of there. They also had placed a catheter in his back left leg that he will be wearing during the course of the treatment so that they don't have to keep sticking him with needles. They just wrap it up nice and tight in a bandage. Thankfully, Oakley doesn't even realize it's there or doesn't care, I guess.

Oakley came home and ate his dinner - kibble and a little roast chicken and for dessert had a Sam's Yam's sweet potato chew. He just loves those! :) Then we (Oakley, Maya, and myself) went for a nice evening walk around the neighborhood.

Picture of Oakley on Day 1 - after treatment at home:

There are some weird marks on his face, but other than that, looks as handsome as ever! I am really scared as to what is to come, but I know that this might help others who are thinking of going this route and not sure what to expect. I plan on taking at least one picture of him every day to post to see the progression and what this therapy could do to him. I'm guessing it won't be pretty in the near future, but I hope some find it helpful.

Time for bed - we need to get our rest, especially Oakley. I think that he is going to get it real quick that the morning car ride is something he is NOT going to want to do...

Please keep Oakley in your thoughts and prayers!!

Introduction - The Dreaded Diagnosis

2009-09-08T21:42:00.003-05:00

The symptoms appeared in February '09. Oakley started to get a bit sneezy and would start these mild "snuffing" episodes, which I describe as him trying to snort something out of his snout. I didn't think anything of it, really. He was scheduled to visit the vet for some blood work in anticipation for an upcoming dental visit. The results came back with just a tiny elevated white blood cell count - an 18. Apparently, 15 is within normal range. At the time, the vet wasn't very worried - Oakley is a very anxious dog and apparently anxiety can increase WBCs. I decided to hold off on the dental work and get him re-checked a few months later.

Over the next several months his nasal symptoms started to increase and he was having these "snuffing" fits almost every day for brief periods of time. I honestly thought it might be allergies, so I continued to postpone getting him re-checked. However, by July I decided I needed to get him in because he really needed his dental work completed and I was starting to get a little worried about what was causing his "sniffing" fits.   Unfortunately, after re-checking his bloodwork, his WBCs were through the roof at 27, clearly indicating there was a problem somewhere. He was not acting sick, nor did he look sick, and he was his same usual energetic self. However, I had a feeling it was related to his nasal symptoms.

The next set of procedures was to get a more detailed look at his blood and to get some xrays. The vet was not going to originally take any shots of his nasal cavity or skull as she thought the nasal symptoms were a coincidence, but I said I wanted them and okay'ed him being sedated to complete the x-rays. When I came to pick him up, the doctor explained to me that his lungs and chest area looked good but didn't say much about his nasal cavity, just that the radiologist at the U would be able to better conclude if there was an issue. I knew she knew something and I asked her if it was cancer, but she just would not give me a straight answer. The bloodwork was also being done elsewhere and results would take a couple of days.

The results of the additional bloodwork again indicated and even higher WBC, just 1 week since the last check, and it was shown that he was creating "bands" or what I guess are called immature white blood cells. Apparently, his body needed them as fast as possible they were not fully developing. As far as he results of the xrays, the radiologist indicated that there was something that looked to be a soft tissue mass. My regular vet however was just avoiding saying it was cancer and said further testing needed be completed.  She said it could be fungal, but I knew it wasn't. She then got us scheduled at the U of M for a CT scan and rhinoscopy for the next week. Needless to say, all tests concluded that he did indeed have a fleshy mass growing in his upper right nasal cavity and surrounding his right eye, in the sinus cavity (but thankfully not in the eye socket itself). Then the worst news a few days later - the biopsy results confirmed that the mass was malignant, specifically, nasal adenocarcinoma.

My husband and I were shocked and heartbroken and I guess I was just basically in denial because from all appearances Oakley looked like a healthy, normal dog. Although he is getting older, he is only 8!! The doctor at the U who did the rhinoscopy told me that there were a few options available to us: Radiation, surgery and/or a drug called Piroxicam, an non-steroid, anti-inflammatory that apparently helps block an enzyme the tumor uses to grow. It doesn't cure it, but does slow it down and helps keep symptoms under control. He told me if it was his dog that he would just stick with the Piroxicam because radiation therapy was quite expensive and then proceeded to give Oakley about a 6-9 month survival time. I just couldn't believe it and couldn't accept it. Not my Oakley! He explained how the tumor could grow outwards, deforming his face and maybe make his eye bulge out. He told us how it could grow down into his throat making it so he couldn't eat very well, and could cause him to have difficulty breathing and that he could start suffering from bad nose bleeds.  Then he said if we had further questions about possible treatment plans, we should contact the Oncology department and then wished us good luck. I don't know, it kind of pissed me off the way he sort of brushed us off, because I felt as though I was just punched in the gut hearing what this horrible disease was going to do to my beautiful and sweet boy.

We proceeded with visiting the oncologist in the hopes of doing something for Oakley that would prolong his life and/or relieve his symptoms and to try and get all of our questions answered. The visit gave us our first glimmer of hope.  The Oncologist said that since Oakley was overall a very healthy dog and that the cancer was confined, he was a good candidate for radiation therapy. I am hoping she was sincere and not just wanting us to go that route to use him as a "lab rat" so to speak.  I did ask her if it was her dog what would she do. She told me that if money was not an object she would proceed with radiation therapy, and her assistant also said the same. I don't think they were being insincere; they seemed a lot more caring than the first doctor and hopeful that we would have positive results, and they really did fall in love with Oakley on the spot. We decided that we wanted to try the "curative intent" radiation therapy, or "definitive" radiation therapy route; I've seen both terms used interchangably on my documentation. It's a very intense and grueling schedule, but the goal is to sterilize as many cancer cells as possible and control the tumor long term, and there is a possibility of temporary remission. He will be receiving 20 treatments over the course of 4 weeks.  It appears that most dogs handle the treatment pretty well (the U handles about 2-8 patients per day!) and that is what I'm hoping for with Oakley. There are going to be side effects; redness, possible skin problems like erythema, ulcerations, mild or persistent nasal discharge, perhaps sores or burns in his mouth, and possible damage to his eye (as a portion of it could be in the path of the radiation). These symptoms apparently start to appear after 2 weeks into treatment, but all should heal (except for maybe the eye damage). I am praying that his side effects are mild or just on the verge of moderate. There are worst side effects, but I don't want to mention them, and fortunately, the chances are very small of having major complications. We also have Oakley on Piroxicam, which thankfully has been doing wonders in controlling his "snuffing" fits - he rarely has them at all anymore. I hope the combination of both therapies will give us a fighting chance in beating back this cancer. Thankfully, the tumor itself is contained within the nasal cavity and has not infiltrated other areas, and his symptoms seemed mild to other accounts that I have read, so I am hoping that we caught this early enough that this treatment can make a difference and help prolong his life.

I think I cried for 2 weeks straight after finding out and it hasn't been any easier for my husband. I just can't sit back and let this disease win right off the bat without a good fight. Oakley is worth fighting for and I love him so much. However, the last thing I want to do is make this more difficult for him or make him endure more pain and suffering. If I feel that this treatment is putting too much stress on him and causing him too much discomfort, I will make the decision to stop it and then just try and treat the cancer as best I can to make him as comfortable as possible and as happy as possible up until the very end.

Honestly, I still cannot believe this...but unfortunately it is our reality right now.